Using this with Liquimetal Coating can make for some WTF battle moments.
scumbling1
★★★★☆ (4.8/5.0)(6 votes)
There's now something productive to do with Crystal Rod and it's ilk: hit someone upside the head with it.
Tetsu_tora
★★★★☆ (4.6/5.0)(8 votes)
Equip the Mox Lotus (15) or Gleemax (1000000) !!! for even better beatdowns.
sarroth
★★★★☆ (4.6/5.0)(6 votes)
Liquitmetal Coating? Mycosynth Lattice! Of course, that's not in Standard, but so much fun. Run with Puresteel Paladin so you don't have to pay for the expensive equip costs.
PhyrexianFailure
★★★★☆ (4.3/5.0)(3 votes)
Puresteel paladin combo! i like the image of a swinging around a titan forge or somthing :)
EDIT: Also, I'm wondering how this interacts with Puresteel Paladin's first ability? Do all of my artifacts cantrip with both in play?
ZEvilMustache
★★★☆☆ (3.9/5.0)(7 votes)
Hit you with a CAR!
Thaxan_Number_14
★★☆☆☆ (2.9/5.0)(4 votes)
Am I the only one who immediately thought of Dead Rising upon seeing this card?
StaberFire
★★☆☆☆ (2.8/5.0)(3 votes)
What would happen if you turned an Aura attached to a creature into an artifact and equipped it to a different creature? Would the game just end there?
Alternatively, this + oodles of artifacts + Puretseel Paladin = lots of cantrips.
Amnatto
★★★★☆ (4.3/5.0)(3 votes)
Time to pick up a Caged Sun and start bashing away.
Buridan
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.8/5.0)(3 votes)
Does it count artifacts in your hand as equipment too? Considering Stoneforge Mystic this would be pretty killing
thepillow
★★★★☆ (4.9/5.0)(7 votes)
It would be awsome to give one of your creatures a darksteel forge or seat of synod to swing around. Awwww a cute little goblin, WHAT IS HE HOLDING?! OH, CRAP!RUN! HOW DID A GOBLIN PICK UP A MOUNTAIN!?
A3Kitsune
★★★★☆ (4.0/5.0)(2 votes)
@StaberFire: If something is both an Aura and an Equipment, it can only be attached to one permanent at a time. Whenever it gets equipped or otherwise attatched to a permanent, it is unattatched from whatever it was attatched to.
ClockworkSwordfish
★★★★☆ (4.9/5.0)(4 votes)
With Mycosynth Lattice or artifact lands, you now have a nice little fleet of -equippers. Surely you Johnnies can find something to do with that. Kemba, for example. Mill yourself infinitely with Cephalid Illusionist. Daru Spiritualist + Doran. C'mon guys.
Also, Myr hitting people with Myr Matrices is a kinda cool mental image. I'd pay to see that.
roguepariah
★★★★☆ (5.0/5.0)(22 votes)
I foresee a Memnite emerging from a Prototype Portal and promptly picking up the portal and swinging it as other memnites come flying out.
infernox10
★★★☆☆ (3.8/5.0)(2 votes)
Heh.
I can't help but feel that this was intentionally printed with Liquimetal Coating in the same block to reintroduce silly shenanigans into Magic.
@Buridan - "Does it count artifacts in your hand as equipment too?"
No. Artifact cards in your hand are considered exactly that-- artifact cards, not artifacts. An artifact card is only an artifact when it is on the battlefield. In any other zone, it is an artifact card (unless it's on the stack, then it's an artifact spell). For instance, consider the following:
Scrapyard Salvo refers to "artifact cards in your graveyard."
Prototype Portal asks you to exile "an artifact card from your hand."
Steel Sabotage allows you to counter an "artifact spell."
Shatter allows you to destroy an artifact. You can't use it to make your opponent discard an artifact card, you can't use it to somehow "destroy" an artifact in a graveyard, and you can't use it to counter an artifact spell as it's being cast, because in all those situations, the card is not on the battlefield. Only when the card is on the battlefield is it considered to be an "artifact" and not just an "artifact card" or an "artifact spell."
chinkeeyong
★★★☆☆ (3.8/5.0)(2 votes)
Run with Puresteel Paladin and 24 artifact lands.
Dragon23
★★★★☆ (4.0/5.0)(2 votes)
I feel like someone could combo it with Puresteel Paladin for a super draw effect. R/w Kuldotha Rebirth anyone?
Xilinoc
★★★☆☆ (3.7/5.0)(3 votes)
Why is a Vulshok fighting a Vulshok?
Ragamander
★★★★☆ (4.9/5.0)(8 votes)
FINALLY Runesword can be used effectively! But, of course, it's still less deadly than punching someone in the face with a ring or, God forbid, beating them over the head with a small brass lamp.
Enemy_Tricolor
★★★★☆ (4.8/5.0)(5 votes)
Now you can equip your Kamahl with the Mirari for an extra-flavorful Vorthos beatdown.
DacenOctavio
★★★☆☆ (3.3/5.0)(3 votes)
@ roguepariah:
That sounds like a typical episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force. But yeah, I want this and Hammer of Ruin to see constructed play, pronto.
I just thought of an extremely amusing combo. This card + Mycosynth Lattice + Vulshok Battlemaster + Murderous Spoils. This plus the lattice turns everything into artifacts and most things into equipment. Play the Battlemaster, and it will equip itself all with all of them, yours and your opponent's. Then play Murderous Spoils, targeting your Battlemaster. If it resolves, the battlemaster dies, and you gain control of all equipment cards equipped to it
You have just seized permanent control of every noncreature permanent in the game.
Birras
★★★★☆ (4.6/5.0)(9 votes)
Tran*** of events occuring in the Chambers of Sheoldred, Whispering One; *sounds of a Memnite chattering, a sigh is heard* "Another one of those pests. I suppose I'll have to...wait...is that the sun? No, no, wait, no, ohmygodohmygodohmygod!" *sounds of carnage, general pain, followed by silence, sounds of a Memnite chattering*
tcollins
★★★★☆ (4.4/5.0)(6 votes)
Equipping Goblin Gaveleer with a Knowledge Pool and swinging as a 9/1 with trample sounds hilarious...also use with Puresteel Paladin and you'll have your little critters beating face like never before! Who knew Tumble Magnets could also be used as weapons?
Superllama12
★★★★☆ (4.3/5.0)(3 votes)
This actually has great flavor, with the Mirrans fighting savagely with everything they have...neat card, and as people have said, Mox Lotus with Gleemax works well, as does Puresteel Paladin...I put this into my Metalcraft deck to have something to do with all my excess Ichor Wellsprings, but I've never actually drawn it, so IDK how it works...
DoctorPopeCaptain
★★☆☆☆ (2.2/5.0)(3 votes)
I want to use this so I can let my Goblin gaveleer beat the bejeesus out of stuff with Snow Artifact Creature Enchantment Land Planeswalker - Forest Plains Island Swamp Mountain Tezzeret
ChampionofSquee
★★★☆☆ (3.7/5.0)(3 votes)
I remember in Scars when Ogre Geargrabber had a really bad effect... now you can swipe any artifact card and either sac it or Bazaar Trader it and keep it forever. Add in a Liquimetal Coating to take any noncreature artifact they might have.
Zielheim
★★★★☆ (4.9/5.0)(11 votes)
Puresteel Paladin: "It's 108 miles to Phyrexia, we've got a full tank of gas, half a bottle of booze, it's dark... and we're wearing sunglasses." Storm Crow: "Hit it."
XTwistedsoulX
★★★★☆ (4.7/5.0)(3 votes)
Isochron with a lightning bolt- WHAP! ZAP! Yeah, you like the stun gun don't you.
KikiJikiTiki
★★★★☆ (4.0/5.0)(3 votes)
So... using Darksteel Garrison. You could have it fortifying a land and equipping a creature at the same time.
How about this? Cast an aura on a creature (say, Eldrazi Conscription), then cast Mycosynth Lattice, then cast this. The aura becomes an artifact, and then it becomes an equipment. It's already attached to a creature, so you don't need to equip it. The creature now gets two completely independent bonuses from the same card, giving it a total of +18/+10 (and trample and annihilate). And you can move it to another creature (gaining both the aura bonus and the equip bonus) using the equip ability.
1. It does nothing on its own. 2. Its effect doesn't stack = dead draws 3. It has synergy with other cards that also do nothing on their own, encouraging their use.
The result: a deck filled with sub-par cards hoping they all make it to the battlefield together. I wouldn't recommend it.
Someone cannot read this card. As funny as that may sound, it wouldn't be able to happen.
NecroticNobody
★★★★★ (5.0/5.0)(5 votes)
I'm going to use Liquimetal Coating to equip Nicol Bolas, Elder Dragon with Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker and laugh wildly as my friends stare incredulously and break out into confused grins.
EDIT: @Ledgo: The way I see it, it would work. You turn the planeswalker into an artifact (hence Liquimetal Coating) and equip to the Elder Dragon, then proceed to mash faces. This could also work with Gideon Jura (when he is in creature mode), as he could hold the planeswalker "sword". If I'm wrong, please feel free to explain why. Also @Amantto, that's exactly what I did at a draft (with a Blighted Agent).
MagnaLynx21
★★☆☆☆ (2.5/5.0)(2 votes)
As fun as this card can be in terms of causal, it just makes me wish that March Of The Machines had been reprinted instead or alongside it.
adrian.malacoda
★★★★☆ (4.3/5.0)(3 votes)
@Ledgo
I don't see why not. Nicol Bolas PW becomes an artifact planeswalker thanks to Liquidmetal Cooling. Since Nicol Bolas PW is not a creature or an equipment, he is affected by Bludgeon Brawl. Nicol Bolas PW is thus an artifact equipment planeswalker with all his abilities intact. With Equip for +8/+0 it's not terribly practical, though. It makes Bolas PW vulnerable to things that destroy artifacts (there's far more artifact hate than there is planeswalker hate), costs a total of 11 mana (the equip cost plus Nicol Bolas the Creature's upkeep, assuming this enchantment and the Bolas cards are already on the field) and only lasts until end of turn anyway.
It would sure be funny as hell, though.
LordRandomness
★★★★☆ (4.2/5.0)(4 votes)
My top equipment choices for amusement: - Rod of Spanking - Urza's Armor (consider that you are presumably wearing the armor the whole time...) - Karn Liberated if something turns him into an artifact. In general, artifact-ified Planeswalkers. Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker is a close second here - Rakdos Signet. Finally, it can be used as a murder weapon! - Manriki-Gusari lets you trash artifacts. Throw in Liquimetal Coating to let it trash lands.
Paolino
★★★☆☆ (3.5/5.0)(2 votes)
Strictly better from a flavorful perspective than from competitive perspective, but extremely funny! I've read some of the funniest and smartest combos with this card towards these comments!
jimbok77
★★★☆☆ (3.0/5.0)(1 vote)
it would just be so much more fun if i could equip my Phyrexian Dreadnaught to something....
WhiteyMcFly
★★★★☆ (4.5/5.0)(1 vote)
"I will take my Mycosynth Lattice and beat you over the head with it. And everything else, for that matter."
Bash someone's face in with a little kitty wielding a massive structure of indestructible metal.
the_sixth_degree
★★★★☆ (4.9/5.0)(5 votes)
"My fellow Mirrans, the Phyrexians have arrived! Quickly! Beat them to death with every metal object you can find!"
Kirbster
★★★★☆ (4.5/5.0)(1 vote)
A wonderful flavour card. Also, equip one of your creatures with a small brass lamp for a rockin' +55/+0.
ExzcellionGamma
★★★★☆ (4.0/5.0)(1 vote)
Hah... I have now my Venser's Journal to be equipped to a creature to make it strong---oh, wait.
Voriki
★★★★★ (5.0/5.0)(5 votes)
This could've made the whole Innistrad block a whole lot shorter. No need for the fancy wars, faith based protections, or humans running scared. No. You pick up that goddamn Helvault, AND USE IT LIKE A MAN. GO. BEAT GRISELBRAND TO DEATH WITH IT. PROFIT. DONE.
Joke aside it allows for some truly hilarious games that involve just beating someone to death with priceless and legendary items. :)
Raibys
★★★★☆ (4.9/5.0)(4 votes)
This is is the *manly* way of you killing someone with Door to Nothingness. Don't activate your interdimensional death portal device, just whack your enemy with it until they get a concussion!
GracefulInferno
★★★★☆ (4.9/5.0)(4 votes)
You will rue the day when I use Liquimetal Coating, seize my planeswalker by the ankles, and bludgeon the ever-loving *** out of you with him.
DoragonShinzui
★★★★☆ (4.0/5.0)(1 vote)
The best part of this card is the comments. Seriously, you guys are hilarious, and I can't seem to think of anything that hasn't already been said. ... Other than, of course, this: Equip Mox. Swing with Mox. Blow opponent's mind.
It gets even better when using a Goblin Gaveleer: He can dual-wield Nicol Bolas and Karn, getting +19/+0. He hits for 20. That has got to be the most hilarious win con I've ever heard.
To make things even more hilarious, you can equip the Lattice and Brawl themselves to your creatures. "Taste my apparently metallic enchantment that somehow allows me to wield itself as a weapon!" Add Tempered Steel and True Conviction for even more fun.
Arachnos
★★★☆☆ (3.5/5.0)(1 vote)
Apparently, smacking things with jewelry proves very effective: Mox Lotus.
XepherXero
★★★★★ (5.0/5.0)(3 votes)
@Manite: For another wtf moment, use Tezzeret, Agent of Bolas's -1 to turn Bludgeon Brawl into a creature, then equip it with Tezzeret himself. Proceed to beat face with a 9/5 enchantment equipped with a planeswalker.
Ferlord
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
"Oh they laughed... When the Tower of Calamities came, they thought I was useless..."
"THAT IS UNTIL NOW! COWER! COWER IN FEAR, MORTALS!"
This is officially my favorite card in magic. It is just too much. Too much flavor. Too much combo. Too much fun. I have a play-set, I am looking at making a deck around them, but I don't even know which direction to go. There is so much to be abused here. Mycosynth Lattice is obviously a must for this deck, and I think it will actually focus on auras maybe to exploit the double attaching? Throw in Leonin Shikari and things could get pretty fun.
I have always been a fan of cards that alter rules or change types (My Enchanted Evening, Opalescence and Aura Thief deck remains my favorite casual experience ever) but now here we have a card that adds subtypes. Not only that but it enables some hilarious interactions.
SyntheticDreamer
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
Opalescence and Liquimetal Coating make this quite hilarious. Now you can equip a land to an enchantment and swing with it.
mrchuckmorris
★★★★★ (5.0/5.0)(4 votes)
Can Puresteel Paladin's last ability overrule the "Equip = X" ability of Bludgeon Brawl? If so, Mycosynth Lattice would make things hilariously weird... What kind of psycho flavor is basically "Equip Battlefield: 0"?
The mighty knight rides into the fray, and everything in a mile radius just instantly gravitates to his hands! He's picking up buildings and villagers left and right to toss them at his foes, beating down the evil dragon with children and cows and even the nearby river! Then his buddy Memnarch slides in and convinces the dragon to aid them... and so the Paladin picks them both up by the legs and goes charging over the next mountain to bludgeon some other foul monster.
On a more serious note, the Brawl/Lattice combo would work very nicely with Kemba, Kha Regent, assuming you were playing the colors (sorry, EDH).
MindAblaze
★★★★★ (5.0/5.0)(1 vote)
Puresteel paladin's ability essentially creates another line of text on the equipment that says Equip :
So yes, with mycosynth lattice and the paladin you can equip all your permanents to something for free. goblin gaveleer seems like a good option.
Comments (84)
Kemba, Kha Regent + Mycosynth Lattice. Equip all your lands to Kemba. PROFIT.
EDIT: Also, I'm wondering how this interacts with Puresteel Paladin's first ability? Do all of my artifacts cantrip with both in play?
Would the game just end there?
Alternatively, this + oodles of artifacts + Puretseel Paladin = lots of cantrips.
Also, Myr hitting people with Myr Matrices is a kinda cool mental image. I'd pay
I can't help but feel that this was intentionally printed with Liquimetal Coating in the same block to reintroduce silly shenanigans into Magic.
No. Artifact cards in your hand are considered exactly that-- artifact cards, not artifacts. An artifact card is only an artifact when it is on the battlefield. In any other zone, it is an artifact card (unless it's on the stack, then it's an artifact spell). For instance, consider the following:
Scrapyard Salvo refers to "artifact cards in your graveyard."
Kuldotha Forgemaster refers to an "artifact card" in your library.
Prototype Portal asks you to exile "an artifact card from your hand."
Steel Sabotage allows you to counter an "artifact spell."
Shatter allows you to destroy an artifact. You can't use it to make your opponent discard an artifact card, you can't use it to somehow "destroy" an artifact in a graveyard, and you can't use it to counter an artifact spell as it's being cast, because in all those situations, the card is not on the battlefield. Only when the card is on the battlefield is it considered to be an "artifact" and not just an "artifact card" or an "artifact spell."
That sounds like a typical episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force. But yeah, I want this and Hammer of Ruin to see constructed play, pronto.
Otherwise, combo with Puresteel Paladin and any big, fun artifact?
This card + Mycosynth Lattice + Vulshok Battlemaster + Murderous Spoils. This plus the lattice turns everything into artifacts and most things into equipment. Play the Battlemaster, and it will equip itself all with all of them, yours and your opponent's. Then play Murderous Spoils, targeting your Battlemaster. If it resolves, the battlemaster dies, and you gain control of all equipment cards equipped to it
You have just seized permanent control of every noncreature permanent in the game.
*sounds of a Memnite chattering, a sigh is heard*
"Another one of those pests. I suppose I'll have to...wait...is that the sun? No, no, wait, no, ohmygodohmygodohmygod!"
*sounds of carnage, general pain, followed by silence, sounds of a Memnite chattering*
Storm Crow: "Hit it."
Spellbook
Mirror of Fate
Door to Nothingness
Elixir of Immortality
Darksteel Forge
1. It does nothing on its own.
2. Its effect doesn't stack = dead draws
3. It has synergy with other cards that also do nothing on their own, encouraging their use.
The result: a deck filled with sub-par cards hoping they all make it to the battlefield together. I wouldn't recommend it.
@Tempted_Johnny: if nothing else, this card has some of the most hilarious comments I've ever seen on Gatherer :D
I..
I need to draw that.
I MUST DRAW THAT.
oh, and cool card.
Someone cannot read this card. As funny as that may sound, it wouldn't be able to happen.
EDIT: @Ledgo: The way I see it, it would work. You turn the planeswalker into an artifact (hence Liquimetal Coating) and equip to the Elder Dragon, then proceed to mash faces. This could also work with Gideon Jura (when he is in creature mode), as he could hold the planeswalker "sword". If I'm wrong, please feel free to explain why. Also @Amantto, that's exactly what I did at a draft (with a Blighted Agent).
I don't see why not. Nicol Bolas PW becomes an artifact planeswalker thanks to Liquidmetal Cooling. Since Nicol Bolas PW is not a creature or an equipment, he is affected by Bludgeon Brawl. Nicol Bolas PW is thus an artifact equipment planeswalker with all his abilities intact. With Equip
It would sure be funny as hell, though.
- Rod of Spanking
- Urza's Armor (consider that you are presumably wearing the armor the whole time...)
- Karn Liberated if something turns him into an artifact. In general, artifact-ified Planeswalkers. Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker is a close second here
- Rakdos Signet. Finally, it can be used as a murder weapon!
- Manriki-Gusari lets you trash artifacts. Throw in Liquimetal Coating to let it trash lands.
I've read some of the funniest and smartest combos with this card towards these comments!
Nicol Bolas swings himself from the future at you!
Bash someone's face in with a little kitty wielding a massive structure of indestructible metal.
Joke aside it allows for some truly hilarious games that involve just beating someone to death with priceless and legendary items. :)
...
Other than, of course, this: Equip Mox. Swing with Mox. Blow opponent's mind.
Using Mycosynth Lattice to make Karn Liberated an artifact and Bludgeon Brawl to make him an Equipment, you can attach him to Karn, Silver Golem, giving him +7/+0. Karn hits his enemies with himself. The same thing works with Venser, Shaper Savant and Venser, the Sojourner and Nicol Bolas and Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker. Gideon Jura can also temporarily equip another Planeswalker by becoming a creature with his ultimate.
It gets even better when using a Goblin Gaveleer: He can dual-wield Nicol Bolas and Karn, getting +19/+0. He hits for 20. That has got to be the most hilarious win con I've ever heard.
To make things even more hilarious, you can equip the Lattice and Brawl themselves to your creatures. "Taste my apparently metallic enchantment that somehow allows me to wield itself as a weapon!" Add Tempered Steel and True Conviction for even more fun.
For another wtf moment, use Tezzeret, Agent of Bolas's -1 to turn Bludgeon Brawl into a creature, then equip it with Tezzeret himself. Proceed to beat face with a 9/5 enchantment equipped with a planeswalker.
"THAT IS UNTIL NOW! COWER! COWER IN FEAR, MORTALS!"
- Aladdin
I have always been a fan of cards that alter rules or change types (My Enchanted Evening, Opalescence and Aura Thief deck remains my favorite casual experience ever) but now here we have a card that adds subtypes. Not only that but it enables some hilarious interactions.
The mighty knight rides into the fray, and everything in a mile radius just instantly gravitates to his hands! He's picking up buildings and villagers left and right to toss them at his foes, beating down the evil dragon with children and cows and even the nearby river! Then his buddy Memnarch slides in and convinces the dragon to aid them... and so the Paladin picks them both up by the legs and goes charging over the next mountain to bludgeon some other foul monster.
On a more serious note, the Brawl/Lattice combo would work very nicely with Kemba, Kha Regent, assuming you were playing the colors (sorry, EDH).
So yes, with mycosynth lattice and the paladin you can equip all your permanents to something for free. goblin gaveleer seems like a good option.
BE DACK FAYDEN