Norin is ridiculously good with Pandemonium and Confusion in the Ranks. Other than that, though, there isn't much use for him. Human is a relatively weak type. If there was a way to make him a Goblin...
Mr_T_868
★★☆☆☆ (2.0/5.0)(6 votes)
i luv this guy!
MaxFAn
★★★★☆ (4.2/5.0)(5 votes)
Also good with Death Match.
Joseph_Leito
★★★★☆ (4.2/5.0)(8 votes)
Qazior, it's rare because it's a guy who appears regularly in flavor text, and is therefore lulz.
Titanium_Dragon
★★★☆☆ (3.8/5.0)(9 votes)
He is a total Johnny card. He's a terrible card, but amusing, and someday they'll forget he exists and print something which breaks him in half. Until that day, he'll be pretty much useless, though.
Megrimage
★★★☆☆ (3.8/5.0)(5 votes)
it is funny because you can play one after the other without them dying (untill end of turn) hahaha.
he can only be killed by rules and abilities. That is a step up from indestructable lol...
one of the only wrath of god proof cards too!
metalevolence
★★★★☆ (4.4/5.0)(12 votes)
best EDH general ever?
Mode
★★★★☆ (4.6/5.0)(15 votes)
"Norin the Wary"? Gosh, he escapes from himself - i'd rather call him "Norin, the Autophobian".
Did you know he was already mentioned on a card in Magic's very first card set? Printing him in a set like Time Spiral where an endless number of characters collide was likely an opportunity Wizards liked to utilize.
He is not completely useless. He might be useless by himself, but he does an awesome job when combined with the right cards.
On top of that, his ability automatically makes him safe from any form of destruction except for activated abilities, and in that case you could always still save him by casting an instant.
True_Smog
★★★★☆ (4.5/5.0)(12 votes)
Probably the funniest legend of all time.
Cute-Hydra
★★★★☆ (4.8/5.0)(13 votes)
Scouts Warning, after attackers have been declared so that he can block a creature.
Scouts Warning + Norin the Wary
COMBO
Arglypuff
★★☆☆☆ (2.8/5.0)(2 votes)
You cannot Artificial Evolution Norin, The Wary. When you cast Artificial Evolution, Norin gets removed before Artificial Evolution can resolve. You could try imprinting Artificial Evolution on Isocrhon Scepter, and then target Norin once he is back in play, but you can't hardcast anything targeting Norin.
EvilCleavage
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
IF you want him for fighting early game, you can put something that disables his abilities.
cats_and_me
★★★★☆ (4.1/5.0)(9 votes)
Yore-Tiller Nephilim can help him deal combat damage to an opponent, which probably makes that opponent concede because of humiliation! :)
Give him haste through Emblem of the Warmind , Fires of Yavimaya or M4ss Hysteria and use Raid Bombardment and hes a pinger that can't be removed...
VoidedNote
★★★★☆ (4.5/5.0)(10 votes)
What a beast. He even escapes the almightly Legend Rule until the end of the turn.
littlebeast
★★★★☆ (4.0/5.0)(1 vote)
I'm not sure, but I think you could change his creature type with Artificial Evolution (playing it in response to his being cast, so that you can actually hit him) and have him trigger abilities that happen whenever the new creature type enters the battlefield. The only problem with that is whether Artificial Evolution's changes last after the card is exiled.
If that doesn't work, you can always use Conspiracy.
frommerman
★★★★☆ (4.1/5.0)(7 votes)
use with soul foundry and you have.......a worthless token generator.
@Arglypuff:
Isochron Scepter won't work; The scepter casts a copy of the spell, which will exile Norin.
He's an interesting combo card, but not much else.
GhostBustersofOrzova
★★★★☆ (4.2/5.0)(4 votes)
Well, at the very least he IS one of the most unkillable EDH generals that you're likely to find. Nobody will take you seriously for using him, true, but at least it'll be funny.
novasun
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.8/5.0)(5 votes)
Wimp...
dberry02
★★★★☆ (4.8/5.0)(24 votes)
This guy... He actually dodges split second...
O_____O
Barliman
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
The best legendary explorer since magic began, he is still up and alive because of his "instincts" lol
FelixtheWary
★★★★☆ (4.0/5.0)(5 votes)
hehehe...They meant to write his sub-type as "Human Worrier".
Splash red and put this in to a Soul sister deck :)
VarteDod
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
As much as Norin is a funny looking dude, his potential is seriously underrated when it comes down to casual games, specially on multiplayer free-for-all. You people have no idea of how much damage this guy can actually do after you drop a Genesis Chamber or, even better, a Confusion In The Ranks. People actually agree to beat me up first when I drop Norin on the first turn, before I start taking away all their creatures and replacing them with 1/1 Myr tokens. That's right, kill the guy with the NORIN THE WARY DECK first!
supershawn
★★☆☆☆ (2.5/5.0)(3 votes)
Dies to Tim.
Gabriel422
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
Soul sisters: Gideon? Garruk? Bah! We want our Noooooooorin <3
Player 1: I'll cast a second lightning bolt in response to kill him
Player2: *trollface* Okay, his ability goes on the stack again
Player1: O____O
SarpNasty
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
Make him you're EDH Commander and equip Heavy Arbalest and Lightning Greaves .
Tommy9898
★★★★☆ (4.8/5.0)(8 votes)
He's just damn good at not dieing, in fact he is one of the best not die-ers I have ever seen. And considering he is on the flavor text for the M12lightning elemental, it looks like he is still alive and kicking to this day. (well, probably not kicking it's dangerous to kick things)
Crag-Hack
★★★★☆ (4.9/5.0)(16 votes)
Haha so many flavor texts feature Norin. I bet everyone got a good laugh when this card got released. It explains all of the flavor texts! XD
"Shit, someone's casting a spell, brb" "Shit something's attacking, brb"
I guess that's why he has so many flavor texts. He never dies :D
Oneiromantis
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
Why isn't his creature type Coward?
CornIsTasty
★★★★☆ (4.5/5.0)(2 votes)
Everyone keeps mentioning the whole Confusion in the Ranks and Genesis Chamber combo with this card but you're forgetting one extra red card to make Norin just the much more annoying. Pyrohemia. Think about it, Norin disappears after your opponent bring a creature into play and they have to switch it for a 1/1 Myr, then pay one red and wipe all the Myr tokens off the field. Norin comes back at the end of turn and you get your opponents creature, a 1/1 Myr token, and go figure, Norin is still untouched.
Also as a side bonus as long as Norin is in exile he'll be able to return before needing to sac Pyrohemia.
Gelzo
★★★★☆ (4.8/5.0)(21 votes)
Wait, wait.
He's a warrior?
Maybe he thought he was signing up to be a worrier, or warier.
Arachibutyrophobia
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
lol
Qazior
★☆☆☆☆ (1.0/5.0)(1 vote)
I'm so gonna make a Commander deck with this as commander
Edit: deck will become epic now that they printed Warstorm Surge
Superfrasse
★★★★☆ (4.5/5.0)(6 votes)
First time I saw him was when I pulled him from a time spiral booster. First I was like "2/1 for R doesn't deserve rare" Then I was like "He can't attack or block" Then I was like "He can't even take a blow from a shock or something instead of another of my creature"
Then I was like "He's flavor is mythic value" Then I was like "Brother, what is this shit?" Then he was like "That's a human warrior, bro" Then I was like "No, this shit can't block warriors"
Then I was like "He first on my legendary page"
Artan
★★★★☆ (4.6/5.0)(13 votes)
Rincewind? How'd you run all the way into another fantasy setting?
zenuedite
★★★★☆ (4.2/5.0)(4 votes)
Alternate updated desc. text:
"Uh, is that a Goldenglow Moth? *gulp* B-be right back."
CrazyLou
★★★★☆ (4.8/5.0)(8 votes)
If you cast another Norin while one is already out, the first Norin will run away for a while before realizing he's running from himself, and both will promptly vanish in a puff of logic (or aether, I guess).
bandswithgoats
★★★★☆ (4.9/5.0)(36 votes)
By "dies to Doom Blade" logic, Norin the Wary is the best creature in the game.
001010011100101110
★★★★☆ (4.8/5.0)(8 votes)
Equip Mage Slayer to this guy, then choose for the equipment ability to resolve first when he attacks. COMBO!
Pandapwnium
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
Planewalker: Norin! I cast giant growth on you and the opponent has 5 health and he has no cards in his hand or in play!
Norin: nope
LordDarkseid
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
Icy Manipulator+royal assassin kills him
OmegaSerris
★★★★☆ (4.2/5.0)(6 votes)
Woot!
Doesn't die to removal! Anyone that uses 'Dies to removal' on every freaking card can go fuck yourself.
ax_morph
★★★★☆ (4.9/5.0)(9 votes)
There's only one thing that can kill a Norin the Wary. A second Norin the Wary.
And even then, it won't happen until end of turn.
non1337
★★★★☆ (4.5/5.0)(5 votes)
There are quite a few cards that can directly kill Norin actually.
The key weaknesses of Norin are activated and triggered abilities. Cycling is one that can be activated directly from your hand. Madness doesn't work. Also any pinger on the battlefield, as well as always on passive abilites (such as Ascendant Evincar) may kill Norin as well.
As you can see, Norin is far from invincible. But against an average deck without pinger, he'd probably survive everything.
Superllama12
★★★★☆ (4.9/5.0)(7 votes)
I made a hilarious deck with him, Pandemonium, and Confusion in the Ranks...as a card, he definitely gets some style points, for being scared of himself attacking
N1N7A
★★★☆☆ (3.5/5.0)(3 votes)
"I have a bad feeling about this." - Obi-Wan Kenobi
If you're running Warstorm Surge, I can see how this would be useful. I like this card, pretty flavorful, easy to make fun of, but still can be useful.
xsarq
★★★☆☆ (3.4/5.0)(4 votes)
Rincewind, is that you?
igniteice
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
@cats_and_me Yore-Tiller Nephlim would require Norin the Wary to be in the graveyard, not exiled. For Yore-Tiller to interact with Norin, you'd have to kill Norin (Executioner's Capsule, Skullclamp, etc.), or put him into your graveyard directly from your library (Entomb, Forbidden Alchemy, etc.) or from your hand via discard.
@OmegaSerris Dies to Executioner's Capsule, although you could play an instant in response to exile him before the resolve.
Shadoflaam
★★★★☆ (4.7/5.0)(5 votes)
I just have no idea how to use this anywhere efficiently. That said, this is on my list of Top 10 favorite cards (ahead of Mogg Jailer but behind Uncle Istvan)
GlassJoetheChamp
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
Just wondering, let's say I played a Wormfang Drake or something, could I champion Norin before he leaves play or no?
(and no, I have no idea what this would accomplish :3 )
@GlassJoeTheChamp:
No, you couldn't. Norin's ability is triggered by the spell being cast, so he'd be off the field before the Drake could even hit the field.
My friend runs Norin as a General in one deck. It's hilariously effective. Plus it's always fun to watch him swing with Norin just because he doesn't have anything better to do on his turn.
amadeuswolf
★★★★☆ (4.5/5.0)(1 vote)
use Xenograft and make him an ally. thats how i use him
Reliquium
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
Of course, an excellent way to get rid of Norin the Wary would be this card.
Justin133Nivmizzet1
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.5/5.0)(1 vote)
P1 at 2 life p2 at 3 life P1 DOJ then goblin chieftain then this " I attack you with everything and I win!" wait wheres norin? P2: in exile P1: Noooooooooooo! P2: do you end? P1 yes. Then I play chain lightning an I win! Great card
champion of the parish really likes getting an almost consistent counter every turn with this guy(unless no one casts a spell or attacks)
j_mindfingerpainter
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
Have fun getting 21 Commander damage with him :P
WhiteWizard42
★★☆☆☆ (2.8/5.0)(3 votes)
It's actually possible for him to do combat damage to players!
Play Conspiracy (Naming Angel, Demon, or Dragon) and attack with Kaalia. Drop Norin in and it's already past the point where he would trigger.
Alternately, do the same thing with Soldier and Preeminent Captain can sneak him in.
Trygon_Predator
★★★★☆ (4.9/5.0)(7 votes)
Should have had the type "Human Coward". Then he'd be unable to block Boldwyr Intimidator. Then again, I doubt Norin would want to block a giant anyway.
Like Jaya Ballard, Task Mage, Norin is one of the evergreen characters of Magic who finally got immortalized in Time Spiral block. And he's the funniest Commander you're likely to play.
DoragonShinzui
★★★★☆ (4.5/5.0)(3 votes)
Norin: For when you absolutely, positively have to confuse everyone out there.
This card can get pretty serious in actual play. It's a cross between mono-red aggro and affinity. Norin the Wary paired with Genesis Chamber makes a great token engine that can stop some Birthing Pod variants cold with the onslaught of Myr tokens. Combine with Signal Pests, Goblin Bushwhackers, Memnites and cards that go back to your hand each turn such as Archwing Dragon. Confusion in the Ranks RUINS a lot of Modern decks if it can be pulled out quick enough. 4/5 for the best and most reliable EtB trigger in the game but requiring someone to build around him. It's also my favorite creature.
Arachnos
★★★☆☆ (3.5/5.0)(3 votes)
There's something almost tragic about the way this dude can dodge the wrath of God himself or even survive the Apocalypse, but dies to a tiny fireball cast by a Prodigal Pyromancer.
That's just the cutest damn thing. "I cast Chimney Imp." "Oh noes! Hide!"
Salient
★★★★☆ (4.0/5.0)(2 votes)
I figure there's at least a 50% chance you're reading this to get some ideas for your Norin-theme deck, so here's a big long comment with some cool stuff to try.
Norin is great with Electropotence and awesome with Genesis Chamber. Don't make Norin your commander without those tools. :)
I saw that Champion of the Parish was mentioned in a comment, but how about Champion of Lambholt? Grow lamby quicker!!
kor6sic6
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.8/5.0)(2 votes)
Someone help me out here... Would his combat damage go through before he bounces himself?
toXicus
★★★★☆ (4.1/5.0)(5 votes)
EGarrett01: By your reasoning, you respect phasing even less than WotC because you can't be bothered to check what it actually is. This is being exiled and then returned. Phasing keeps the card on the board, it just looks the other way and pretends it doesn't exist. For instance, this triggers enters- and leaves-the-battlefield triggers while phasing doesn't.
Kor6sic6: Unfortunately no, it gets exiled way before combat damage is declared. You also can't block with him, because he poofs before you can declare blockers.
Ekann123: Norin still gets out of the way because split second prevents players from casting spells or activating abilities, but Norin ninjas away as a triggered ability. However, if his ability was instead ": Exile Norin the Wary until end of turn" then Sudden Shock would kill him, because once the shock's on the stack they can't choose to respond with his ability.
Goes bananas with Mirror Gallery if you have a way to abuse unlimited etb triggers.
Kserwin
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
I guess this thing would actually sort of work in a R/W deck with Cathars' Crusade and a lot of offensive creatures... not that it'd be a problem to GET that in a red and white deck.
It's a weird card. Probably has a ton of hidden uses that I'm just not thinking of, or know about.. but I guess that's something I'll have to figure out along the way.
EGarrett01
★☆☆☆☆ (1.2/5.0)(6 votes)
It shows how little respect Wizards has for the phasing mechanic, since they didn't even bother to use the keyword here.
And @toXicus, thanks for illustrating another reason why Phasing is useless. And enjoy your 0.5 rating too, idiot.
Missile_Penguin
★★★★★ (5.0/5.0)(5 votes)
Nearly every card in Time Spiral block was a throwback to at least one previously printed card.
This card represents the cowardly character responsible for some of the most memorable flavor text quotes from the early days of Magic such as Goblin Shrine and Jade Statue
ekann123
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
I have a RG norin deck with Genesis Chambers, Primal Forcemages, and Pandemoniums. Its a really fun deck.
yuvalg
★★★★☆ (4.8/5.0)(3 votes)
And now, for your viewing pleasure, the complete list of Norin the Wary flavor text wisdom:
Jade Statue - "Some of the other guys dared me to touch it, but I knew it weren't no ordinary hunk o' rock." Goblin Shrine - "I knew it weren't no ordinary pile of—you know." Lightning Elemental - "Oh, it's easy enough to kill, but I'm not going anywhere near it." Sabretooth Tiger - "I fear anything with teeth measured in handspans" Viscid Lemure - "Lemurs? Is that all? Finally, something harmless . . ."
And although it's less characteristic, for completion's sake, Animate Wall - "When you have been bitten with fangs of granite, you start to long for the ivory sabers of tigers."
@larkeith actually, even if you suspend shivan meteor it still is cast at the end of its suspension, so he doesn't die to a suspended meteor (also, a suspended meteor is 5/5 on a scale of ridiculous flavor)
SirLibraryEater
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
Wins as an EDH commander. Why exactly does he have a power and toughness if he can't attack or block because he'll be too busy not existing, and if anybody plays a spell to kill him, he no longer exists anyway?
Lifegainwithbite
★★★★★ (5.0/5.0)(1 vote)
Well if you have something like Leyline of Anticipation out, you can flash him in after your opponent declares attacks and block with him. Yes, kids, that is the worst combo ever.
Gameguy602
★★★★★ (5.0/5.0)(2 votes)
I find it extra hilarious that he scares himself away when he attacks.
Comments (120)
he can only be killed by rules and abilities. That is a step up from indestructable lol...
one of the only wrath of god proof cards too!
Did you know he was already mentioned on a card in Magic's very first card set? Printing him in a set like Time Spiral where an endless number of characters collide was likely an opportunity Wizards liked to utilize.
No idea why a card with such a Flicker effect is red, but it is with no doubt a Johnny card.
You can use him with cip/etc effects for good results, try:
-Confusion in the Ranks - to gain control of your opponent's creatures.
-Pandemonium (or that disappointing card we don't talk about) - to deal 2 damage. (*)
-Death Match - to give a creature -3/-3 (*)
-Blasting Station - to deal 1 damage.
-Cream of the Crop - for useful topdecking.
-Genesis Chamber - to gain 1/1 Myr tokens. (*)
-Aura Shards - to destroy artifacts and enchantments.
-Cloudstone Curio - for bouncing other creatures of yours.
-Intruder Alarm - for untapping all creatures. (*)
(*): beware, also profitable for your opponent
You might even add a Obsidian Battle-Axe, Ronin Warclub or In the Web of War to increase his power for Pandemonium or Cream of the Crop.
He is not completely useless. He might be useless by himself, but he does an awesome job when combined with the right cards.
On top of that, his ability automatically makes him safe from any form of destruction except for activated abilities, and in that case you could always still save him by casting an instant.
Scouts Warning, after attackers have been declared so that he can block a creature.
Scouts Warning + Norin the Wary
COMBO
If that doesn't work, you can always use Conspiracy.
Isochron Scepter won't work; The scepter casts a copy of the spell, which will exile Norin.
He's an interesting combo card, but not much else.
O_____O
Quickly, Norin! They're defenseless! Attack!
...Norin?
Player 2: Okay, he becomes removed from the game
Player 1: I'll cast a second lightning bolt in response to kill him
Player2: *trollface* Okay, his ability goes on the stack again
Player1: O____O
"Shit, someone's casting a spell, brb"
"Shit something's attacking, brb"
I guess that's why he has so many flavor texts. He never dies :D
Also as a side bonus as long as Norin is in exile he'll be able to return before needing to sac Pyrohemia.
He's a warrior?
Maybe he thought he was signing up to be a worrier, or warier.
Edit: deck will become epic now that they printed Warstorm Surge
First I was like "2/1 for R doesn't deserve rare"
Then I was like "He can't attack or block"
Then I was like "He can't even take a blow from a shock or something instead of another of my creature"
Then I was like "He's flavor is mythic value"
Then I was like "Brother, what is this shit?"
Then he was like "That's a human warrior, bro"
Then I was like "No, this shit can't block warriors"
Then I was like "He first on my legendary page"
"Uh, is that a Goldenglow Moth? *gulp* B-be right back."
Norin: nope
Doesn't die to removal! Anyone that uses 'Dies to removal' on every freaking card can go fuck yourself.
And even then, it won't happen until end of turn.
Death Pulse, Gempalm Incinerator(with one or more goblin in play), Jund Sojourners, Slice and Dice, Solar Blast
The key weaknesses of Norin are activated and triggered abilities. Cycling is one that can be activated directly from your hand. Madness doesn't work. Also any pinger on the battlefield, as well as always on passive abilites (such as Ascendant Evincar) may kill Norin as well.
As you can see, Norin is far from invincible. But against an average deck without pinger, he'd probably survive everything.
- Obi-Wan Kenobi
Awesome card RUN 5 IN EVERY DECK
oh and split second removal, yet I don't know if this one is a triggered ability or an effect
Yore-Tiller Nephlim would require Norin the Wary to be in the graveyard, not exiled. For Yore-Tiller to interact with Norin, you'd have to kill Norin (Executioner's Capsule, Skullclamp, etc.), or put him into your graveyard directly from your library (Entomb, Forbidden Alchemy, etc.) or from your hand via discard.
@OmegaSerris
Dies to Executioner's Capsule, although you could play an instant in response to exile him before the resolve.
(and no, I have no idea what this would accomplish :3 )
No, you couldn't. Norin's ability is triggered by the spell being cast, so he'd be off the field before the Drake could even hit the field.
My friend runs Norin as a General in one deck. It's hilariously effective. Plus it's always fun to watch him swing with Norin just because he doesn't have anything better to do on his turn.
P1 DOJ then goblin chieftain then this " I attack you with everything and I win!" wait wheres norin? P2: in exile
P1: Noooooooooooo!
P2: do you end? P1 yes. Then I play chain lightning an I win! Great card
Play Conspiracy (Naming Angel, Demon, or Dragon) and attack with Kaalia. Drop Norin in and it's already past the point where he would trigger.
Alternately, do the same thing with Soldier and Preeminent Captain can sneak him in.
Like Jaya Ballard, Task Mage, Norin is one of the evergreen characters of Magic who finally got immortalized in Time Spiral block. And he's the funniest Commander you're likely to play.
@Renegade_Punk: Pandemonium
Norin is great with Electropotence and awesome with Genesis Chamber. Don't make Norin your commander without those tools. :)
I also run Hamletback Goliath, Kavu Monarch, and Mana Echoes.
He dies to a disappointingly large array of mono-red control devices, like Aether Flash and Pyrohemia.
Norin pairs better with pretty much every color other than red, though: Cathars' Crusade (
Worldfire, Norin.
"...Norin? Where'd you- *dies*"
The best thing about him was that they gave him a power of 2, even though there's pretty much no way for him to really use it effectively
I saw that Champion of the Parish was mentioned in a comment, but how about Champion of Lambholt? Grow lamby quicker!!
Kor6sic6: Unfortunately no, it gets exiled way before combat damage is declared. You also can't block with him, because he poofs before you can declare blockers.
Ekann123: Norin still gets out of the way because split second prevents players from casting spells or activating abilities, but Norin ninjas away as a triggered ability. However, if his ability was instead "
Continue: Yes, yes it is.
suffers to... removal???
warstorm surge
equilibrium (upon cast only)
Edit: Kyren Negotiations
It's a weird card. Probably has a ton of hidden uses that I'm just not thinking of, or know about.. but I guess that's something I'll have to figure out along the way.
And @toXicus, thanks for illustrating another reason why Phasing is useless. And enjoy your 0.5 rating too, idiot.
This card represents the cowardly character responsible for some of the most memorable flavor text quotes from the early days of Magic such as Goblin Shrine and Jade Statue
Jade Statue - "Some of the other guys dared me to touch it, but I knew it weren't no ordinary hunk o' rock."
Goblin Shrine - "I knew it weren't no ordinary pile of—you know."
Lightning Elemental - "Oh, it's easy enough to kill, but I'm not going anywhere near it."
Sabretooth Tiger - "I fear anything with teeth measured in handspans"
Viscid Lemure - "Lemurs? Is that all? Finally, something harmless . . ."
And although it's less characteristic, for completion's sake, Animate Wall - "When you have been bitten with fangs of granite, you start to long for the ivory sabers of tigers."
actually, even if you suspend shivan meteor it still is cast at the end of its suspension, so he doesn't die to a suspended meteor
(also, a suspended meteor is 5/5 on a scale of ridiculous flavor)
Why exactly does he have a power and toughness if he can't attack or block because he'll be too busy not existing, and if anybody plays a spell to kill him, he no longer exists anyway?