I just annihilated your silly little Plated Slagwurm, looks like I win indeed.
LordCeviche
★☆☆☆☆ (1.6/5.0)(11 votes)
Ach! Hans, run! It's the Rise of the Eldrazi! A card set so horrible it killed the sets most loved mechanics such as landfall and Allies in favor of leveling up creatures and summoning huge things that destroy everything!
That is something i wish i could run away from.
IRHennessy
★★★★☆ (4.0/5.0)(2 votes)
This might be the best way to use Big Furry Monster, a 99/99 with haste?!?!?!?!
@ IRHennessy , that wouldn't work unless you have the one with out a cost already in your hand, it would only give you one of them, and thus it would die immediately after coming into play (as per the ruling on the cards)
frommerman
★★★★☆ (4.4/5.0)(8 votes)
You: "Ach! Hans, Run! It's the Black Lotus!" Opponent: That's not a creature. You: Play ____, tap a land "Yes, it is"
You: "Ach! Hans, Run! It's the little girl! Opponent: dies laughing
divine_exodus
★★★☆☆ (3.6/5.0)(4 votes)
It doesn't really matter what you call in as long as it has trample or it can't be blocked. Plated Slagwurm will just get blocked by a tiny little 1/1. Play this properly, people.
EDIT
@SilverSkyz:
Why exactly do I lose if I block Plated Slagwurm with, say, a Storm Crow??
thegatekeeper
★★★☆☆ (3.5/5.0)(2 votes)
"Ach Hans Run!" its the Chicken Egg
tcollins
★★★★☆ (4.6/5.0)(9 votes)
Ach! Hans, Run! It's the ... Phage, the Untouchable. Wait...
Superllama12
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
First card alphabetically...except for maybe 1996 World Champion...
jemas42
★★★★☆ (4.2/5.0)(2 votes)
What you do is you use this and then bounce it to your hand.
Kanacho
★★★★☆ (4.2/5.0)(3 votes)
All the Unhinged cards are awesome LoL XD.
Ideatog
★★☆☆☆ (2.8/5.0)(2 votes)
Since your creatures are going to die at the end of the turn, consider including Rancor to give them that oh so desirable trample- over and over and over.
Of course, Rancor is good in any deck which attacks.
Opponent scooped before I even got to drop the beast.
sarroth
★★★★☆ (4.2/5.0)(2 votes)
I once played a Chaos Magic game (like Planechase but with normal Magic cards making the effects) and while this was out was able to continuously call Cerulean Sphinx, attack for 5, then shuffle the card back into my library and repeat the process the next turn. Until someone rolled chaos and "Ach! Hans, Run!" disappeared for another card, that was the only time I ever felt justified having Cerulean Sphinx in my deck. It was definitely the most fun I had with "Ach! Hans, Run!"
So, how do you get _____ with this card? Do you have to change its name first, or does it work without? "Ach! Hans, run! It's the. . . um. . . the . . . underscore-underscore-underscore-underscore . . ." Hans: "It's the what?"
adrian.malacoda
★★★★★ (5.0/5.0)(2 votes)
Per the Unhinged FAQ, http://www.wizards.com/magic/tcg/article.aspx?x=magic/faq/unhinged
___ has no name. You pronounce it by opening your mouth but not saying anything.
Secksee
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
Gotta stay canon and use it to get Lhurgoyf. ^^
fensrev
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.5/5.0)(5 votes)
Ok..real quick..before the retarded site times me out. This card blows and should never be allowed. How about I design a card that says 'scream banana and win the game'. Funks sake. The card doesnt state how many creatures I can bring out. Sure, it implies singular, but doesnt state it. Technically I can name Shivan Dragon, with four in the deck and bring them all out. Does it STATE I cant? And thats magic. Its like lawyers at play, given LIFO etc. So no. This card looks up at a Hurloon Minotaur from its knees. Stupid gimmick. Kill it off!!!
DarthParallax
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.5/5.0)(1 vote)
What happens when you target "Hans, Eriksson" with "Radiate":
Whenever Hans, the Incredible Hulk attacks, blocks, is targeted, is dealt damage, or deals damage, destroy target artifact, creature, or land. Put a number of +1/+1 counters on The Incredible Hulk equal to that permanent’s converted mana cost.
"Ach! Hans, Run! It's the Ach! Hans, Run! It's the..."
TitansFTW
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.5/5.0)(1 vote)
Ach! Hans, run! It's the (insert name of your favourite Titan here)!
You get your choice of 6 damage, 4 lands, 4 2/2 Zombie tokens, 2 tapped permanents that don't untap for a while or 2 CMC 3 or less cards from your graveyard. Every turn. As well as a 6/6 for attacking.
Well, someone had to be boring and actually think of practical uses for this card.
Totema
★★★★★ (5.0/5.0)(1 vote)
"Ach! Hans, run! It's Norin the-where did he go?"
NARFNra
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
"Ach! Hans, Run! It's the Misthollow Griffin!" "Well, at least we won't have to see that again- Oh god, it's back!"
patronofthesound
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
@fensrev
No need to ragequit. First off, this card cannot be used in normal magic, its a joke. Secondly, the way its worded means its a triggered ability, meaning it hits once when it says. It also couldn't be interpreted as letting you get multiple creatures because it says "put it into play" not "them." Its not that technical dude you just have to read it carefully. The rules aren't that complicated and the vast majority of cards, especially the modern ones, are clearly worded. AND gatherer is a great resource for clarifying rulings. In conclusion, hate the player, not the game.
LordRandomness
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
Was just at a cube draft where someone drafted this and Emrakul. Eep.
printsmorgan
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.5/5.0)(1 vote)
just say "Ach! Hans, run! It's the Progenitus ! and you pretty much won.
It would be fun to have a few of these out at once and use them to summon everything you need for a game-winning combo. For example: "Ach! Hans Run! It's the Sliver Queen! Ach! Hans Run! It's the Basal Sliver! Ach! Hans Run! It's the Manaweft Sliver! Ach! Hans Run! It's the Blur Sliver!"
Comments (61)
You win.
One particularly great combo would be using it to summon the mighty Our Market Research Shows That Players Like Really Long Card Names So We Made this Card to Have the Absolute Longest Card Name Ever Elemental (And I defy you to tell me that wouldn't be funny)
I just annihilated your silly little Plated Slagwurm, looks like I win indeed.
That is something i wish i could run away from.
Ach! Hans, run! It's the Drudge Skeletons!
Ach! Hans, run! It's the Birds of Paradise!
Ach! Hans, run! It's the Storm Crow!
~Saffi Eriksdotter, Last Words
you lose
Opponent: That's not a creature.
You: Play ____, tap a land
"Yes, it is"
You: "Ach! Hans, Run! It's the little girl!
Opponent: dies laughing
EDIT
@SilverSkyz:
Why exactly do I lose if I block Plated Slagwurm with, say, a Storm Crow??
Wait...
Of course, Rancor is good in any deck which attacks.
"Ach! Hans, run! It's the Utopia Tree!"
@jemas42 If you bounce the creature you get from this to your hand (and even cast it agin) you keep it.
Opponent scooped before I even got to drop the beast.
Hans: "...but they're nearly harmless, aren't they? Tough, but not very dangerous."
Saffi: "--and they have Doran right behind them!"
Hans: O_O
—Hans Eriksdotter, last face
"Ach! Hans, run! It's the. . . um. . . the . . . underscore-underscore-underscore-underscore . . ."
Hans: "It's the what?"
___ has no name. You pronounce it by opening your mouth but not saying anything.
"ACH, LOKI-- RUN- it's Hans, the Incredible Hulk!" - Progenitus, Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker, the Lhurgoyf, the Phyrexian Obliterator, Emrakul, the Aeons Torn, Dark Depths, Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth, the Ineffable, Baneslayer Angel, Darksteel Colossus, Morphling, Spiritmonger, Sliver Overlord and everything, all said, at once. O.o
Hans, the Incredible Hulk {R}{R}{R}{G}{G}{G}
Legendary Creature- Giant Beast Warrior Barbarian Berserker Monster
Trample, haste, double strike, rampage #lots#
Whenever Hans, the Incredible Hulk attacks, blocks, is targeted, is dealt damage, or deals damage, destroy target artifact, creature, or land. Put a number of +1/+1 counters on The Incredible Hulk equal to that permanent’s converted mana cost.
{1}: Target Giant Beast Warrior Barbarian Berserker Monster fights everything.
{T}, {Q}: Target player sacrifices a planeswalker. Hans deals damage to that player equal to that planeswalker's converted mana cost.
2/2
"Ach! Hans, Run! It's the Ach! Hans, Run! It's the..."
You get your choice of 6 damage, 4 lands, 4 2/2 Zombie tokens, 2 tapped permanents that don't untap for a while or 2 CMC 3 or less cards from your graveyard. Every turn. As well as a 6/6 for attacking.
Or, you know, Blightsteel Colossus.
Well, someone had to be boring and actually think of practical uses for this card.
"Well, at least we won't have to see that again- Oh god, it's back!"
No need to ragequit. First off, this card cannot be used in normal magic, its a joke. Secondly, the way its worded means its a triggered ability, meaning it hits once when it says. It also couldn't be interpreted as letting you get multiple creatures because it says "put it into play" not "them." Its not that technical dude you just have to read it carefully. The rules aren't that complicated and the vast majority of cards, especially the modern ones, are clearly worded. AND gatherer is a great resource for clarifying rulings. In conclusion, hate the player, not the game.
"Ach! Hans Run! It's the Sliver Queen! Ach! Hans Run! It's the Basal Sliver! Ach! Hans Run! It's the Manaweft Sliver! Ach! Hans Run! It's the Blur Sliver!"
Just watch as your opponents roll their eyes.
Too mean.
-Swag_Crow