Pointed Discussion

I love Unicorns, and I love MTG. But I hate MTG Unicorns. Is that weird?

Maybe you hate it because it quite sucks.
It replaced Pearled Unicorn in the core set, yet it's still far from being a white weenie.
Compare both of them with a Unicorn reflecting more what a white creature looks like these days, Ronom Unicorn.

mind boggling flavortext

At least you're getting an additional point of toughness for the same casting cost as Pearled Unicorn. As commons go, Ronom Unicorn pwns them both for being a grizzly bear with a decent ability. Take a step up to the uncommon tier and bask in the glory of Revered Unicorn which can enjoy some synergy with Adarkar Unicorn.

Unicorns are SUPER. Thanks for asking.

I agree. The flavor text boggles the mind.

What a badass unicorn.

Awesome art. Awesome flavor text. To bad the card is not very good.

Rarity. This is Rarity.

Eyup.
That's totally Rarity.

This card still needs to be about 20% cooler, though.

This card needs to be reprinted with the proper rarity, rare, because this. Is. Rarity!

The reason for the baffling flavor text: The original Pearled Unicorn's flavor text was about not believing in unicorns until you saw them. This card, which is a direct upgrade from the Pearled Unicorn, has flavor text that basically says, "Bah, we don't care what we said on the Pearled Unicorn since it was a horrible card anyway." Hence, unicorns no longer care about who believes in them.

All that aside, this card is still pretty bad, but at least it was an attempt to make something better.

I love how all terrible magic unicorns' flavour texts are drawn from the scene in Through the Looking Glass (and what Alice found there) where Alice meets the unicorn and they decide to believe in eachother.

Unfortunately, still bad.

2/5, 'cause at least it don't kill ya, and 'cause Rarity's my 2nd fav unicorn.

Enchant it with feast of the unicorn. Cannibalism is a path to power.

The flavor text is a shout out to "Through the Looking Glass". Just saying.

Regal Unicorn needs to eat something... maybe it should chow down on its smug sense of self-importance.

Yeah? Well up yours, buddy!

For some reason, I was struck with a desire to document various cards that are better than this:
Alaborn Trooper has the same mana cost and P/T, but more relevant creature types.
Farbog Explorer adds Swampwalk, a nice bonus.
Frontline Medic adds 1 power and some useful abilities.
Kabira Evangel, besides Human and Cleric tribal bonuses, becomes awesome in an Ally deck.
Kor Sanctifiers can do a Regal Unicor impression, but for one more mana becomes a Disenchant with a body. Very nice.
Midnight Guard has pseudo-vigilance and is combolicious.
Shu Foot Soldiers is Alaborn Trooper with strictly more potential for bad puns.
Steelform Sliver, which might pop up in multiples and become a 2/4 or better, or be able to leech off of your opponents' slivers. If you're playing slivers yourself, well, then it's even better.

If you're willing to up the color requirement, you get:
Armored Warhorse, which comes out a turn earlier.
Veteran Armorsmith, proving why just being a Soldier is an advantage while being better than the Warhorse.
Brimaz, King of Oreskos, unless you're really desperate to play multiple copies of the same guy.
Chapel Geist
Descendant of Kiyomaro
Kemba, Kha Regent
Sunspire Griffin
Transcendent Master
I may be missing some, since some creatures pump themselves while in play but won't show up on a Gatherer search for 2/3 creatures.

I'd say that this Unicorn would still see play in limited, though. A 2/3 body is nothing to snort at.

Not even good enough to be dog food