1. Bone-crushing rage. 2. Azorius to smash. 3. Eating meat. 4. Ruins to crash. 5. Orzhov to stomp. 6. Izzet to snap. 7. Dimir to crunch. 8. Selesnya to bash. 9. Rakdos to pummel. 10. Boros to kick. 11. Eating eggs. 12. Gateless to flatten. 13. Golgari to burn. 14. Simic to decapitate. 15. Corpses to tear apart. 16. Delicious Fruit. 17. The Old Ways. 18. Other Gruul. 19. Finding a good whupstick. 20. Buildings to rubbleficate. 21. Sleeping after a long day of smashing. 22. Blood kin. 23. Gruul Pride. 24. Azorius griffins and sphinxes getting struck by lightning bolts. 25. Watching the Izzet blow themselves up trying to fix Gruul smashings. 26. Finding loot that can smash more things. 27. The word "smash". 28. Strength. 29. Loyalty. 30. Beasts. 31. Having tired muscles after a day's smashing. 32. Making buildings that fall over smash into each other. 33. Having the first bite of a meal. 34. Winning a good mate. 35. Family ties. 36. Good dirt to sleep on. 37. Beast horns that can be made into weapons. 38. Finding ruins other Gruul made and making them MORE ruined. 39. Face paint and tattoos. 40. Eating Selesnya's mockeries of the wild. 41. Reminding Dimir agents who has the better guild mechanic. 42. Taking a good whizz/dump. 43. Watching the Rakdos smash each other, then smashing whatever's left. 44. Smashing a Golgari gorgon's statue collection. 45. Burps that taste good. 46. Practicing a good war cry that makes Azorius lawmages defecate themselves. 47. Finding a shiny thing. 48. Cracking open a big egg. 49. Gruul younglings born strong. 50. Turning arguments into brawls. 51. Receiving a pump spell or Bloodrush effect. 52. Throwing things at people you don't like. 53. Eating with your hands. 54. People who betray other guilds to join the clans. 55. People who actually succeed at doing so and impress Gruul leaders with their strength. 56. Breaths of fresh air free from the stink of society. 57. Mispronouncing "Golgari" as "garbage" on purpose. 58. That stretchy part of the elbow. 59. Sharp things. 60. Pointy things. 61. Splitting a skull open like a melon. 62. Wildfires. 63. Finding spies in the ashes afterwards. 64. Anything that gives Hexproof. 65. Laughing at weaklings, then smashing them. 66. The smell of meat roasting over a fire. 67. People who trip and get stepped on while running away. 68. Feeling it in your gut. 69. Running out of food, then finding more. 70. Smoked meat. 71. Throwing fancy-pants pastries at each other after pillaging them from markets. 72. Climbing trees to exercise. 73. Having a good sneeze. 74. Beasts that find you a good companion. 75. Tearing apart stupid lists that over-thinkers make. 76. Finding better uses for Boros equipment than the Boros ever did. 77. Having scars. 78. Having stories about where those scars came from. 79. Finding hidden places and smashing them too. 80. Being rewarded for destroying things with meat. 81. Punting Izzet goblins and having contests to see who can send them farthest. 82. Destroying Orzhov wealth and seeing their fat faces watch in horror. 83. Punching those fat faces in. 84. Gruul who took you in when nobody else would. 85. Turning old slums and rubble into elementals to smash things with smashed things. 86. Spitting contests. 87. Having biceps the size of a lawmage's torso. 88. Using smaller people as clubs to smash bigger ones with. 89. Feral beasts who instinctively accept and know the Gruul ways.
90. Accuracy.
They're a guild that knows their priorities, at least.
Totema
★★★★☆ (4.8/5.0)(5 votes)
I was going to make a "he fought the law but the law won" joke, but it turns out that there's no Azorius creatures that could beat him AND survive in a fight. Disappointing!
Trygon_Predator
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
It's alright. Chances are it'll squash some unfortunate creature like bug and live through it. Limited only, of course.
majinara
★★★☆☆ (3.0/5.0)(1 vote)
Interesting ability, but the card still sucks outside limited. It's too expensive, and risks doing nothing but killing itself. Not to mention your opponent having a pump spell on hand.
TheWallinator74
★★★★☆ (4.9/5.0)(4 votes)
I wasn't going to post anything for this, at best, meh card at first.
But then I saw Nucleon's post.
You, sir, are a hero for coming up with 88 more Gruul priorities and posting your results. On behalf of the greatest guild in Ravnica, I sincerely thank you for your hard work and dedication to our guild. The rest of the Gruul Clans would thank you as well, but then again, there is Priority #75.
Purplerooster
★★★★☆ (4.8/5.0)(3 votes)
So he'll actually attack something stronger? That's heart right there.
RAV0004
★★★★★ (5.0/5.0)(9 votes)
Nucleon should have been the gruul runner.
Continue
★★★★☆ (4.2/5.0)(5 votes)
Nucleon... you win forever. I don't think anyone can make a better comment than that on any card.
ZEvilMustache
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
I wasn't excited about the random part of the ability (I misread it and assumed I could target, at first... face palm), but after a while, I found it really spiced up my games. Almost got this in play alongside my Species Gorger... that would have been amazing.
metalevolence
★★★★☆ (4.7/5.0)(3 votes)
This is one of the most fun cards I have ever played with.
This design does right everything that goblin test pilot does wrong.
sonorhC
★★★★☆ (4.0/5.0)(1 vote)
If only that power and toughness were swapped...
Oh, and Nucleon rocks, but that's obvious by now.
imreallyagoodman
★★★☆☆ (3.0/5.0)(1 vote)
I have a question about this guy that I am hoping to get a little clarification on from the community.
So if he comes into play and "Fights" as a triggered ability, does he not tap?
I am hoping to play him, have Obsidian Battle-Axe attach to him, then have him attack with the provided haste ability during the attack phase.
Any help would be appreciated! :)
Gcrudaplaneswalker
★★★★☆ (4.8/5.0)(4 votes)
@ Nucleon
Since I am Orzhov, I hate the Gruul and want their worthless guild members to suffer One Thousand Lashes, but I read your whole post and hate the Gruul a little less. And I gave your comment 5 stars. Well done, sir.
Vishlord
★★★☆☆ (3.8/5.0)(2 votes)
@imreallyagoodman The fight mechanic has nothing to do with the attack phase, so he does not tap. If you had a way of giving him haste and caste him in the first main phase he could attack (and be tapped) after this enter the battlefield 'fight' ability had resolved. The enter the battlefield ability goes on the stack, so you could use instants when he fights target creature. You wouldn't be able to equip him until after the fight as this is done at sorcery speed. You should google the 'Fight' keyword mechanic.
Splizer
★★★★☆ (4.5/5.0)(2 votes)
Most the time I cast this, not only could nothing beat him in the fight, but often there was only ONE creature on their side, making the random clause irrelevant. Really, really good removal.
Flyheight
★★★☆☆ (3.8/5.0)(2 votes)
@imreallygoodman & @Vishlord
Vishlord is correct that "Fight" does not cause the affected creatures to tap.
Since the obsidian battle-axe grants haste, yes you may attack with Scab-Clan Giant the turn it comes after the axe has been attached.
Actually, while activating an equip effect can only be done at sorcery speed, what obsidian battle-axe's Warrior triggered ability does is bypass the equip restriction and just automatically attaches the battle axe as soon as the Warrior creature enters the battlefield. This does occur "at instant speed" and since you control both the Giant and the Axe you get to choose what order the effects resolve in, meaning that you can have the Axe become attached to the Giant before the Giant's random fight effect resolves so your Giant can fight as a 6/6.
If this card comes into play tapped does it still fight? New here don't know the protocols. Thanx for any help provided.
Tamerlein
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
While not a bad card, he has little to no use in constructed. A 4/5 for six is mediocre, and he is a dead card in hand if the only creature they have out is larger than him.
3/5
manaderp
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
NoRequest, yes. "Fight" has nothing to do with attacking. The only way for a creature to attack is for it to be declared as an attacking creature at the start of the declare attackers step of its controller's turn. (Notably, a creature can be put into play "attacking", eg. by Geist of Saint Traft, but technically that creature never actually "attacked". There's a fringe case in that "attacks and isn't blocked" abilities will still trigger for that creature (unless it's blocked), but that rarely comes up.)
Goatllama
★★★★☆ (4.5/5.0)(1 vote)
I'm pretty sure Nucelon's comment is what the Gruul Guild letter said.
Comments (21)
1. Bone-crushing rage. 2. Azorius to smash. 3. Eating meat. 4. Ruins to crash. 5. Orzhov to stomp. 6. Izzet to snap. 7. Dimir to crunch. 8. Selesnya to bash. 9. Rakdos to pummel. 10. Boros to kick. 11. Eating eggs. 12. Gateless to flatten. 13. Golgari to burn. 14. Simic to decapitate. 15. Corpses to tear apart. 16. Delicious Fruit. 17. The Old Ways. 18. Other Gruul. 19. Finding a good whupstick. 20. Buildings to rubbleficate. 21. Sleeping after a long day of smashing. 22. Blood kin. 23. Gruul Pride. 24. Azorius griffins and sphinxes getting struck by lightning bolts. 25. Watching the Izzet blow themselves up trying to fix Gruul smashings. 26. Finding loot that can smash more things. 27. The word "smash". 28. Strength. 29. Loyalty. 30. Beasts. 31. Having tired muscles after a day's smashing. 32. Making buildings that fall over smash into each other. 33. Having the first bite of a meal. 34. Winning a good mate. 35. Family ties. 36. Good dirt to sleep on. 37. Beast horns that can be made into weapons. 38. Finding ruins other Gruul made and making them MORE ruined. 39. Face paint and tattoos. 40. Eating Selesnya's mockeries of the wild. 41. Reminding Dimir agents who has the better guild mechanic. 42. Taking a good whizz/dump. 43. Watching the Rakdos smash each other, then smashing whatever's left. 44. Smashing a Golgari gorgon's statue collection. 45. Burps that taste good. 46. Practicing a good war cry that makes Azorius lawmages defecate themselves. 47. Finding a shiny thing. 48. Cracking open a big egg. 49. Gruul younglings born strong. 50. Turning arguments into brawls. 51. Receiving a pump spell or Bloodrush effect. 52. Throwing things at people you don't like. 53. Eating with your hands. 54. People who betray other guilds to join the clans. 55. People who actually succeed at doing so and impress Gruul leaders with their strength. 56. Breaths of fresh air free from the stink of society. 57. Mispronouncing "Golgari" as "garbage" on purpose. 58. That stretchy part of the elbow. 59. Sharp things. 60. Pointy things. 61. Splitting a skull open like a melon. 62. Wildfires. 63. Finding spies in the ashes afterwards. 64. Anything that gives Hexproof. 65. Laughing at weaklings, then smashing them. 66. The smell of meat roasting over a fire. 67. People who trip and get stepped on while running away. 68. Feeling it in your gut. 69. Running out of food, then finding more. 70. Smoked meat. 71. Throwing fancy-pants pastries at each other after pillaging them from markets. 72. Climbing trees to exercise. 73. Having a good sneeze. 74. Beasts that find you a good companion. 75. Tearing apart stupid lists that over-thinkers make. 76. Finding better uses for Boros equipment than the Boros ever did. 77. Having scars. 78. Having stories about where those scars came from. 79. Finding hidden places and smashing them too. 80. Being rewarded for destroying things with meat. 81. Punting Izzet goblins and having contests to see who can send them farthest. 82. Destroying Orzhov wealth and seeing their fat faces watch in horror. 83. Punching those fat faces in. 84. Gruul who took you in when nobody else would. 85. Turning old slums and rubble into elementals to smash things with smashed things. 86. Spitting contests. 87. Having biceps the size of a lawmage's torso. 88. Using smaller people as clubs to smash bigger ones with. 89. Feral beasts who instinctively accept and know the Gruul ways.
90. Accuracy.
They're a guild that knows their priorities, at least.
But then I saw Nucleon's post.
You, sir, are a hero for coming up with 88 more Gruul priorities and posting your results. On behalf of the greatest guild in Ravnica, I sincerely thank you for your hard work and dedication to our guild. The rest of the Gruul Clans would thank you as well, but then again, there is Priority #75.
This design does right everything that goblin test pilot does wrong.
Oh, and Nucleon rocks, but that's obvious by now.
So if he comes into play and "Fights" as a triggered ability, does he not tap?
I am hoping to play him, have Obsidian Battle-Axe attach to him, then have him attack with the provided haste ability during the attack phase.
Any help would be appreciated! :)
Since I am Orzhov, I hate the Gruul and want their worthless guild members to suffer One Thousand Lashes, but I read your whole post and hate the Gruul a little less. And I gave your comment 5 stars. Well done, sir.
Vishlord is correct that "Fight" does not cause the affected creatures to tap.
Since the obsidian battle-axe grants haste, yes you may attack with Scab-Clan Giant the turn it comes after the axe has been attached.
Actually, while activating an equip effect can only be done at sorcery speed, what obsidian battle-axe's Warrior triggered ability does is bypass the equip restriction and just automatically attaches the battle axe as soon as the Warrior creature enters the battlefield. This does occur "at instant speed" and since you control both the Giant and the Axe you get to choose what order the effects resolve in, meaning that you can have the Axe become attached to the Giant before the Giant's random fight effect resolves so your Giant can fight as a 6/6.
3/5