I wonder if I could switch my lifemoney account to a more aggressive, high risk high reward moneychanger. Flip a coin, get 2 on a heads and nothing on a tails. Or maybe a safer mutual fund? Half a Counter per round, but without the 3 life initial cost? Hmmm. Maybe one of those Roth IRAs I've been hearing so much about. Oh! Right. Trading cards. uhm... This is a weird one. Rather silly, gotta wonder why he has 2 Toughness other than Blubber Armor... And I mean... Seriously. It's an Investment Banking Magic Card featuring a scowling fat guy. I would be inclined to think this guy was an Unglued if he weren't so unpleasantly drawn.
Ichorix
★★★☆☆ (3.5/5.0)(6 votes)
To more accurately reflect the banking philosophy of today, it should be errataed to this:
"Icatian Moneychanger enters the battlefield with three derivative counters on it.
When Icatian Moneychanger enters the battlefield, it deals 3 damage to you.
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a derivative counter on Icatian Moneychanger.
Sacrifice Icatian Moneychanger: You lose 1 life for each derivative counter on Icatian Moneychanger. Activate this ability only during your upkeep."
ddde
★★★★★ (5.0/5.0)(4 votes)
If you happen to be a wealthy person then you, of course, know to pair your standard account with a Gilder Bairn option.
Honestly, though, if you are just going for 1 mana cost white cards you will probably be FAR better off with Ghost-Lit Redeemer.
izzet_guild_mage
★★☆☆☆ (2.2/5.0)(3 votes)
I like the part where Fallen Empires.
Carnophage_4ever
★★★☆☆ (3.5/5.0)(3 votes)
This guy is tougher than you think. He can resist the blast of a rocket launcher!
Laguz
★★☆☆☆ (2.8/5.0)(3 votes)
I want to searing blaze this thing so badly. You lose 6 life and you're down a card, trololol
pedrodyl
★★★★★ (5.0/5.0)(1 vote)
Look, it's Ben Franklin!
alextfish
★★★★★ (5.0/5.0)(2 votes)
I wish he had a class type. Would "Human Merchant" be so bad? :/
SleetFox
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
Awesome flavor. But it sucks. :(
RJDroid
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
So this guy is the 1%?
Seriously, he sucks. But at least he's cheap!
Psychrates
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
No use for this garbage. i tried for so long and lost too many times. One of the worst cards EVER printed in magic. A Lightning Bolt to the head as part of the casting cost, one counter a round and three rounds to break even, and a sac required but only during UPKEEP?
Did you hate us, WoTC?
Chamale
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
I love the flavour of this card, but let's face it, you're better off with Golden Urn on the first turn.
Shadoflaam
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
Why does this seem racist to me?
Radagast
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
Let's see... he's an investment banker who starts out by stealing a solid chunk of money, and then he promises great returns... sometime later... if conditions are right. If not, you lose.
Yep, I'd say this card is painfully accurate. Useless, yes, but accurate!
Stinga
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
MMMMM Richer!
themicronaut
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
Hey-sometimes you gotta break a few eggs to make an omelet. The worst goddam omelet you ever had in your whole life. No wonder you almost had to beg people to buy Fallen Empires boosters.
JasonPaul601
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
He'd be pretty good if he wasn't so easy to kill/get rid of, or if you could get the life back anytime instead of just your upkeep.
Kirbster
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
"I promise you this will have a great payoff if I'm not thrown in front of some rampaging attacking creature before then."
Jannissary
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
I was gong to read the text but honestly, I'm sure it's not worth it.
And WHAT is up with that insanely ugly white mana symbol?
TheWrathofShane
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
Without timing restrictions this would be a very solid card. With timing restrictions it's clunky removal bait.
Zetan
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
If his sacrifice ability could be used at any time, you could at least chump-block with him and get your life (and a little extra) back.
As he stands, he was unplayable, even at the time he was printed.
DrJack
☆☆☆☆☆ (0.0/5.0)
Sheesh. No wonder Jesus had to throw these guys out of the temple 2,000 years ago. Jesus should'a thrown out the guy who designed this card, too.
Okay, that last remark was pretty mean. I was jus' jokin' there, guys.
Comments (26)
Maybe one of those Roth IRAs I've been hearing so much about.
Oh! Right. Trading cards. uhm... This is a weird one. Rather silly, gotta wonder why he has 2 Toughness other than Blubber Armor... And I mean... Seriously. It's an Investment Banking Magic Card featuring a scowling fat guy. I would be inclined to think this guy was an Unglued if he weren't so unpleasantly drawn.
"Icatian Moneychanger enters the battlefield with three derivative counters on it.
When Icatian Moneychanger enters the battlefield, it deals 3 damage to you.
At the beginning of your upkeep, put a derivative counter on Icatian Moneychanger.
Sacrifice Icatian Moneychanger: You lose 1 life for each derivative counter on Icatian Moneychanger. Activate this ability only during your upkeep."
Honestly, though, if you are just going for 1 mana cost white cards you will probably be FAR better off with Ghost-Lit Redeemer.
Seriously, he sucks. But at least he's cheap!
Did you hate us, WoTC?
Yep, I'd say this card is painfully accurate. Useless, yes, but accurate!
And WHAT is up with that insanely ugly white mana symbol?
With timing restrictions it's clunky removal bait.
As he stands, he was unplayable, even at the time he was printed.
Okay, that last remark was pretty mean. I was jus' jokin' there, guys.